BEING THE BARONESS…
would you describe yourself, if someone had never
heard of you before (absurd of course, but hypothetically
Simply unforgettable! Love me or loath me, the word
“indifferent” will not enter your vocabulary.
If that’s not enough, then here’s a
I was born in Berlin,
grew up in Rio de Janeiro, ‘finished’
in Switzerland and then shocked my family by embarking
on an international acting, singing and dancing
career. Whilst singing in a nightclub I met, and
soon after married, Baron Tenny von Reefenhausen.
Two years later we divorced (but I kept the title)
and I married a very wealthy Italian called Fabrizio.
He died tragically in a light aircraft accident,
leaving everything to me. I have always loved the
stage and screen – I open the fridge door,
the light comes on, and I take a bow – and
have continued to enthral my fans around the world.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Over the last few years you’ve
been lying low. Are you looking forward to being
in the limelight again? And what have you been up
to till now?
I have never been out of it, just depends which
country you had in mind. As for “lying low”,
the question is, under what or under whom have I
been lying? Some interesting faces spring to mind…just
can’t put a name to them. I have also spent
some time working on chapter one of my memoirs,
which has left me emotionally exhilarated and exhausted…and
at the end of the chapter I have only reached age
Your past is sprinkled with
scandal, are you prepared to have all your skeletons
brought out of the closet by the press again?
Darling, most of my skeletons have turned to dust
and can be found in some somber family vaults on
the east banks of the river Rhine. If the press
should attempt to wrench open some closet, they
will probably find themselves in the role of old
There have been rumours in the past that you may
have had something to do with the demise of your
husband. Cruel and no-doubt unfounded, but how do
My first husband, Tenny, the German baron is alive
and well and living in Berlin. I believe that he
is “seeing” an Australian sheep-farming
heiress. She is tall and rather fond of wearing
yellow. (A difficult colour when one is not a natural
blonde). I have nicknamed her Mary. You know, Mary
had a little lamb…Husband number two was Fabrizio
del Castano, and the investigation into the accident
concluded that it was pilot, human error. Let’s
just say that his little error contributed to my
large fortune, and leave it at that.
Is it true that you write a sex advice column?
Yes I do write a column. It’s for a website
where I give my advice to people whose personal
lives and relationships are floundering. And given
that sex is so much part of life, I inevitably end
up suggesting that they close the doors and open
their legs, rather than closing their flies and
opening the bottle! Would this be defined as a sex
How much are you really worth?
Some say that you are appearing on Below the
Belt, only because you may have blown your
fortune in Europe.
Blown my fortune? What a hoot! Barbara Hutton and
I have nothing in common, other than the fact that
we both kept suites at The Ritz in Paris.
Vanity Fair recently
ran a piece about plastic surgeons to the stars.
It was suggested in the article that you might have
had a little nip and tuck at some point. Is that
Catch me on a bad day, in the wrong moment, at an
unfortunate angle, with morning sunlight and without
makeup. Your question will be more than adequately
would you rather spend an evening with, George Bush
or Sadam Hussein?
George is the most powerful man in the world, and
they say that power is the strongest and most effective
aphrodisiac there is. In his case, it simply isn’t
true. I do not think I have ever met a man who is
quite so unsexy. But then his wife was a librarian,
so perhaps I shouldn’t be too harsh…
Sadam on the other hand
is from the Middle East, and those men are renowned
for being insatiable sexual beasts. And may I add
that their reputation for being extremely well endowed
is not a rumour. I am also partial to spicy food
and illicit whisky, so given the options and the
ingredients; I would say that big in Baghdad wins
do you spend so much time around gay men?
For humour, style and compliments. Very few heterosexual
men know the difference between chiffon and tulle.
And besides, one can forge such great friendships
with gay men without the penis being a problem.
But it can be torturous to be in the company of
a group of stunning men and know that absolutely
nothing is remotely available. Water, water everywhere
and not a drop to drink. Pour me a Chivas and make
it a triple!
Is it true that you auditioned
for the title role of the movie version of the musical
Evita, only to be beaten out by Madonna?
Utter nonsense! I have never auditioned in my life.
People call me and ask. In this case I turned the
role down. The poor girl needed a break.
Do you have any regrets about
the choices you’ve made in your life?
No. And I do not like the word “regrets”.
It implies that one has made the wrong choices,
and I don’t believe in that. A choice is a
choice and you deal with the consequences, no matter
if you end up crucified on an ant heap in Africa,
or giving dreary cocktail parties in middle-class
society. Edith Piaf’s throaty warblings of
having no regrets however, never did much for me.
Let’s toast to tomorrow!
you describe yourself as a happy person?
Happiness is for pigs. Give them a sty, some mud
and a bucket of swill, and they are perfectly happy.
We, on the other hand, are not pigs, (though I have
met some in my time), and we have choices. We are
aware of alternatives. But it is this very pursuit
of dreams and a belief that someday happiness will
come, which can leave us feeling defeated and depressed.
So it is the moment that must be seized, and at
this very moment, I am supremely happy!
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