The writings: Agony and Ecstasy

Dear Baroness,

I have a strange little problem in that I am attracting men like flies to honey. It seems like a curse/blessing of some sort. Is it really love or is it just lust? I am sure that you are well aware that all men are dogs really.

It seems my problem comes from a strange mixture of good looks, sex appeal and personality. You know, I think most people would be able to let a good looking brain dead bloke be, but it's just a bit more difficult do be left alone when you can actually hold a decent conversation.

I sort of have the need to be un-involved for a bit too. Discover my innerness. I'm sick of having my life wrapped around some one else’s world right now. You know, sort of sit back and enjoy me for a bit.

I just don't know how to handle my sex bomb status. The cure it seems would be to lock myself up at home. But then again I like to make friends with nice people. And damn it why not gay men too! You know, enduring friendships.

Here is another question... Can or can one not sleep with a friend? Or get fresh with a friend? Can you feel that damn stupid peer pressure arising out of that question?

I also seem to suffer from low self-esteem. Bugger that. Somewhere along the line I just need to get with the picture and accept that I'm beautiful, proud, intelligent, passionate, virile and compassionate. Any tips there?

Hmm. I'm at a bit of a loss, and my friends have no advice.

I wonder if you have any tips to share with your experience as a Sex Goddess. I just can't find any books on the subject and it seems to be a rare affliction.

With love and affection in every kiss and squeeze.

‘Low self esteem’

Dear Honeypot,

I have read your letter a few times to try and work out what exactly your problem is and I end up feeling that you are just a spoilt brat. Petulant and sulky, complaining about all these men who are attracted to you, and won't allow you to "discover your innerness". Whatever that means?

And you are also a mass of contradictions! One moment you are acknowledging that you are gorgeous, sexy, intelligent etc, and the next, you are suffering from low self-esteem. Which is it to be? People who genuinely suffer from loss of self-esteem, would not, and could not attribute themselves to such flamboyant words as "beautiful, passionate, virile, proud etc.

And as for "all men are dogs"! How on earth did you come to that very misguided conclusion? You are a man, so am I to conclude that you perceive yourself as a "dog"?
The men who are swarming around you "like flies to honey" are, no doubt, consumed with lust (don't even think about love at this stage) and my advice would be to enjoy what Mother Nature has given you, before Father Time takes it away! Youth is not forever, and the day will come when the flies start buzzing around a decaying and decrepit carcass. Ghastly thought!

You accredit yourself with the status of "sex bomb" (your modesty amuses me!) but do not know how to handle this elevated position. Well, in two words, "enjoy it”, but a word of caution, it requires a lot of maintenance. You are only as good as your last performance, and the crowds whom you have wooed, long to see you topple. Whoever said that anything is fair? Just remember that whatever decadent things you do with those flies, take care of yourself. You have been playing ‘safely’ I take it?

As to sleeping with friends, of course you can! A friend, by definition, is someone whom you love, admire and trust and so a sexual intimacy is simply the cherry on the top. But then some people do find that ramming their tongues up the anus of a total stranger in a public lavatory to be an exhilarating experience! So, who is to judge?

Be a little kinder towards yourself and a touch more tolerant of others. You seem to have all that it takes...sex appeal, personality...so don't lock yourself away in all this emotional masturbation, and let's see you blossom. I'll be the first to pick the rose!

Thanks for the love and affection, and where exactly did you want to squeeze me?

THE BARONESS.