My past experiences as
a top haven’t been so great. I understand
condoms aren't supposed to be loose, but my problem
is that they are so tight that they feel really
uncomfortable. I have tried different brands - the
extra large variety, big, extra length -but they
all seem the same. Any suggestions??
Thanks so much for your
letter, but I cannot help feeling that you are not
really telling me the complete truth. In fact I
feel that the letter may even be a joke, and that
your intention is to cajole the readers into believing
that you are monstrously over-endowed. Strange,
given most gay men of my acquaintance are constantly
trying to increase their penis size, and you are
However, let us assume
that your genital stats are as impressive as you
say, and take it from there.
If you cannot find a
condom that is comfortable, and you do mention that
you have tried “the extra large variety”
and “the big extra length” may I suggest
that you approach a reputable manufacturer, say
Durex and ask them for advice (who knows, they may
have a rarely marketed variety to suit your needs).
You might also have found
a gap in the market. Start your own line of prophylactics!
If you have any entrepreneurial skills, you could
even give them a name such as “Bigfellas”
or “Soldiers of Love”, maybe “KKC’s”
(King Kong Condoms), patent the name and size, and
put them on the market. Bring out a catalogue/brochure,
featuring glossy photographs with you being the
model. Create a web page, approach the Adult Shops,
advertise in the Papers... go crazy!
Thanks again for the
correspondence, and whatever you do, don’t
out of desperation go bareback, we do live in dangerous
With a kiss and a loving
stroke of your (large) member.