Where do I begin? It’s
all so complicated you see. I wonder if you would
actually be able to help me. (Sorry for rhyming,
it’s like the gay version of “tick”
syndrome, I sometimes find myself rhyming without
It all began last year
on Valentine’s Day ironically enough, the
day I began my whoring ways and started a relationship
with a guy who already was in a relationship. Now
I know the first word that pops into your mind is
“skank” but try to understand; he was
really cute and I ended up falling for him. It wasn’t
just infatuation or a fling. Anyway to make a long
story short I ended up calling the whole thing off
because it became obvious to me that although the
guy cared for me, he also loved his boyfriend.
But wait there’s
more. Last year on the 30th of Dec I ended up going
out with a girlfriend of mine to meet an ex-boyfriend
of hers from Belgium. Who as it turns out had a
very cute gay brother who was in the country and
would be joining us that evening. Well, we really
hit it off, and we ended up jumping one another
that evening. However once again he has a boyfriend,
added to which he really cares about me blah blah
blah can’t stop thinking about me blah blah
blah. I feel the same way, but at the end of the
day I’m left sitting all alone, while he goes
off to his boyfriend of eight years, who he’s
with even though they have “problems.”
Now I know that it’s
really trashy to go after someone else’s boyfriend,
but sometimes these things happen. What I would
like to know is, how do I not give in to my inner
skank and avoid these involved guys who I seem to
attract? How do I reset my gaydar to phase out their
Is there hope for me?
has come and gone again and it’s brought back
a whole bunch of painful memories. I do not want
next year’s one to be the same.
Please help or reprimand
My dear Valentinephobic,
What a sad letter...always
the bridesmaid, and never the bride!
But before I go any further,
you will have to educate me and tell me what the
meaning of "skank" is? I have looked in
every dictionary, but to no avail. I am making the
assumption that it is the trendy version of "skunk",
and that you have to be reprimanded for giving in
to your skunk-like behaviour Bit harsh that, isn't
it? I have probably got it hopelessly wrong, so
darling please e-mail and enlighten!
So you have been involving
yourself with "involved" boys, and now
you're sitting all alone and feeling sorry for yourself.
And so you should! Going after someone else's boyfriend
is not trashy, it's futile. A lesson which I think
you have certainly learnt.
You mention that you "began my whoring ways"
on Valentine's day last year. Perhaps the word you
meant to use was "promiscuous", a far
cry from the tough and dangerous profession of whoring.
The question I really
need to ask is...were you aware that these boys
were in established relationships when you "jumped"
them? I mean, the Belgian cutie, for example? Did
he tell you that he had a boyfriend of eight years,
or did this startling revelation emerge between
puffs of the post-coital cigarette? If he did tell
you, you are the "skank", if he didn't,
well then, he is the "skank".
To quote you..."these
involved guys whom I seem to attract". Are
you quite sure that it is not the other way round?
I know of many people who go for married men, because,
knowing that there is no future, it absolves them
from all commitment. They enjoy the chase, the seduction,
the sex, and then the tragic crocodile tears when
this great romance cannot be. That's trashy!
So you need some vigorous
self-examination, and in your case, should you find
anyone even remotely attractive, check his marital
status before that second drink. If you see a ring
on his finger...flee!!
By the way, you said
that Valentine's Day had brought back painful memories.
Careful darling, when one starts to have memories,
it is the beginning of dowdiness. And you are far
too young for that.
Sweetest kisses from