Episode 6 Episode 7
This is where you
are able to read the Baroness' very own private
and revealing behind-the-scenes diary.
EPISODE 2. PORN PARADISE
dear, I am feeling a little grubby today. My hands
just don’t seem clean. I suspect the bedspread
in that seedy hotel-room required a very thorough
dry-cleaning. God only knows what bodily fluids
and other substances have oozed into the fibres
of the very cloth my hands were touching. Banish
the thought and pass the soap!
I was left reminiscing on how arousing a hotel-room
can be and of the many illicit and stolen orgasms
enjoyed under the registered name of Mr. and Mrs.
Ira, the lady pornographer, was fascinating. She
told me, in private, that she is very much into
S&M, and is in fact a dominatrix…with
her own personal slave! Fancy that. She also showed
me a very special ring on her finger. Apparently,
those involved in this particular lifestyle don
the ring, and in so doing, can identify one another.
Worn on the left hand, one is a ‘master’,
worn on the right, a ‘slave’. I asked
if I could try it on. Disappointingly, it didn’t
suit me…on either hand!
The porn actors who were auditioning turned out
to be sweet and friendly, even though I had “ruined”
their audition, and possibly robbed them of a chance
to stardom in a very lucrative market. They, however,
were insistent that they wouldn’t appear on
camera. How bizarre, they audition for a porn film,
but then refuse to appear in a relatively tame interview.
What I can tell you is that the girl should lose
a little weight, but then Ira whispered to me that
some men just love the plump, housewife look. The
boy was extremely well endowed (thick, long and
uncut…for those who might want to know) and
told me that although he is straight, he also ‘does’
men, if the price is right. (I have always said
that there is nothing that money can’t buy.)
Zoë, the model for the “Loslyf”
magazine, has such beautiful breasts, and the delicious
view of her very shaven pussy had Gino silently
panting! The size of his erection (pity you don’t
get to see that!) reminded me of a night we had
in Pretoria, (of all places), but that’s another
story and another time.
And then that interview with Gareth Cliff. He is
such a boy, and the frank revelation of his very
small penis (and even smaller porn collection) was
so appealing. I think I’m in love…
Well the first episode has come and gone and reaction
has been overwhelmingly positive. I am a little
concerned that I will never be able to walk the
streets without being accosted by the masses. (But
then again, walking is for peasants. The press remains
abuzz with rumours about me being a man. Shall we
lay that one to rest for once and for all?